You Would Not Think

That a slow version of "Hey Ya" would be one of the things that was missing from my life but we learn something new all the time.

I've been watching again

And am not sure yet what I feel, though Jennifer Hudson is a worthy successor to the Pharrell/Alicia artiste lineage.

Wrapping Up Very Late And/Or Very Early Depending On What Season You Are Referring To

"Better late than never
But never late is better"
                --Drake

So.  Tim won last season!!!  Congratulations!!!

Frankly, I forget if that was the photo he wanted me to use or not, there was drinking involved in the trophy ceremony.

So.  That's that.  Now for the elephant in the room:

I have to skip at least this season.  Judging by the lack of clamor about this new one starting I'm not the only one.  But my loss of faith in the electorate has seeped into the Voice voting as well and I am serious when I tell you that, though my love for each and every one of you remains strong and vital, the thought of doing this makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and not in a good way.

We did watch the first night of auditions yesterday.  We may watch more.  I doubt very much that we will be watching everything because Blake/Gwen is already infuriating the lovely Debbie.  I took small comfort in the Appalachian kid not getting anyone to turn and the meanness of that feeling made me sad, but there we go.

So anyway, have a great season!  If anyone wants to run one this year feel free!

We'll always have Music Boxx,
Brother Pat

When We Needed Solace, The Voice Let Us Down

“A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest”

                              --Paul Simon

Let’s get this out of the way up front – it is hard to write or even think of clever bon mots for ephemeral bullshit after the past couple days.  I’m angry and discouraged and fed up and scared and frankly want to eat everything in sight, get high as fuck and find enough distractions to make the next four years pass as blissfully ignorantly as possible – and being a white guy, have a decent chance of doing just that without too much difference in my comfortable day to day life, and I get even more pissed and guilty at that fact.  I hate how my peer group that popped raging boners at Reagan’s trickle down bullshit and now thanks to easy blue pills are as erect as ever at the altar of me me me me have poisoned our public discourse.  I hate that calcified pieces of shit like Gingrich and Giuliani are still around to spray their nasty seed over the body politic.  I do not hate but feel sorry for the working class that is seeing progress take their jobs away without a way to retrain them for modernity because I feel that same anxiety – our generation was too late to get anything that the boomers hadn’t already grabbed and too early to really embrace the new technological economy and as a result have always had a certain sullen ennui about us.  So I get it.  But the path they’ve chosen is antithetical to the path they need to take so while I feel sorry for them I also want them to fuck right off to the opioid epidemic they’ve largely brought on themselves with their political choices over the years.  That may be the meanest thing I’ve ever written but clearly I am in the anger stage of my grief.  I feel horrible for the women who are going to lose their right to make decisions about their own bodies, I feel awful for the Muslim, LGBTQ, black and Latinos who, after the first black president, now have to deal with the neo-nazi KKK racism that Trump has encouraged to come out into the open, I shudder at the damage that four years of climate denial at this stage is going to inflict on our kids and grandkids.  I fear years of hard progress are going to be erased and while the larger trend of human history always bends towards progress, it will be a hard slog just to get back to where we are right now.

So it is a really good time for distraction, and what does The Voice do but give us one of their worst ideas in the history of the show.  In no particular order, this is what sucked about the Live Playoff Rounds:

n  Live voting that shut off half the country, with the predictable result that any male country artist would be voted through.

n  No coverage of the artists before their performance, which removed any story or moment to look forward to during the performance. 

n  No feedback after the performance.  I wouldn’t have expected this to be a drawback given the usual pabulum that the judges give, but realized when it wasn’t there that it does make a difference.

n  The quick nature of getting one singer after another on and off the stage had the unfortunate effect of magnifying the weaknesses of the singers and minimizing the strengths, with the result that all the performances ended up blending together and sounding rather blah.

It was a horrible decision to have all 20 people sing in two hours and have 8 of them voted off after spending the past five weeks cultivating viewer interest in them.  Horrible.  Plus, I’M NOT ALL THAT CONFIDENT IN AMERICA’S VOTE RIGHT NOW IF YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYIN’.

That said, here is how I had ranked the performances by team:

Alicia went first.  Her team is the strongest and so we knew we’d lose some good ones, though I don’t think that they had their best day – but again, a lot of that is due to the format.  Alicia was stone cold while making her pick by PLUGGING HER NEW ALBUM in the midst of deciding who to cut.  That was baller.  I saw it as:

We’ McDonald

Josh Halverson – Cupid was a fun choice.

Kylie Rothfield – I like Kylie quite a bit but Satisfaction is a hard song to bring something new to and it showed.

Sa’Rayah

Christian Cuevas – As with Kylie, Yesterday has just been covered SO MUCH.  I didn’t love this at all.

AMERICA picked:  Christian & We’

ALICIA picked:  Sa’Rayah.   

Kylie & Josh go home and I am sad.

Blake was next.  One song in and Deb said “Man, this is a horrible night of The Voice”.  I ranked them:

Austin Allsup

Courtney Harrell

Sundance Head – Deb did like his performance.

Jason Warrior

Dana Harper – I love the song Maneater but not in the weird slow verse/fast chorus arrangement she had.

AMERICA picked:  Sundance & Austin.  Duh.

BLAKE picked:  Courtney

Jason & Dana go home along with the last of Hey! Gina M Has A Team!

Miley was up next.  I saw it as:

Ali Caldwell – best voice on this team.

Aaron Gibson – Round Here.  I will fight any of you regarding the greatness of the first Counting Crows album.  He is my favorite voice on this team

Sophia Urista – Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?  Well, yeah.

Darby Walker – Those Were The Days sounds weird coming from a 17 year old.

Belle Jewel – I like the song Runaway but it was a horrible choice for her voice.

AMERICA picked:  Aaron & Ali.  ‘Bout time you got something right, America.

MILEY picked:  Darby

Sophia & Belle go home and poor Talisman Winship sails off into the sunset…..

Finally it was Adam’s turn, with The Voice adding one last shitty thing by giving him exactly 10 seconds to decide who to cut.  I saw it as:

Billy Gilman – Crying – I was prepared to hate this and did for the first few seconds but man, he killed it.

Brendan Fletcher – didn’t get the hype for him earlier but am starting to.

Simone Gundy who everyone seems to just love and so I’m prepared to be her friend too.

Josh Gallagher – was fine but you know he’ll get voted through because fuckin’ America.

Riley Elmore, Crooner.  Jim’s confession about not watching has me hoping that he thinks Riley’s name is actually Riley Elmore, Crooner.

AMERICA picked:  Billy & Josh and god dang it I hate that I knew that would happen.

ADAM picked:  Brendan

Simone and Riley Elmore, Crooner go home and with them go Hummingbird Lightfoot.  A bold strategy by Jim but maybe needs some work.

So no fewer than three teams have been eliminated and Carson’s Way, WW Like A Wreckin Ball and Brother Pat’s TSS together have a full 75% of the remaining contestants.  Gonna be a BARNBURNER, folks!

STANDINGS?  WE GOT STANDINGS.

Yours in our new dystopian hellscape,

Brother Pat

Here Are Your Bonus Picks

"Seasons don't fear the reaper,
  Nor do the sun or the wind or the rain"
                       --Blue Oyster Cult

Happy Election and/or Voice Day to you all!

Bonus picks are in for everyone and they are as follows:

Carson's Way (Erin):  Brendan Fletcher, We' McDonald, Kylie Rothfield.  Bold to take two off her own team but can't quibble with first place.  I like Kylie as a sleeper.

Tina Turner on the cover of Black Stars magazine, 1979 (Gina T):  Billy Gilman, Brendan Fletcher, Ali Caldwell.  Boldest choice:  The only team not to pick one We' McDonald.  EDGY.

Brother Pat's Traveling Salvation Show (Pat):  Aaron Gibson, Josh Halverson, We' McDonald.  Two sleepers because I think I'll need them down the road.  Watch out for Aaron, folks (now watch him flame out this week sigh).

Hummingbird Lightfoot and Braiden Fucking Sunshine (Jim):  We' McDonald, Sundance Head, Sa'Rayah.  The only team to choose Sa'Rayah.  Nice alternate if We' gets upset.

Hey! Gina M Has A Team! (Gina M):  We' McDonald, Josh Halverson, Sundance Head.  Guess who didn't give me a team name.....

Talisman Winship (Ed):  Austin Allsup, Josh Gallagher, We' McDonald.  Making a strong play for the male country artists.  Needs a strong play to avoid the "Nice Try" trophy.  I like the choices.

I Wanna Win Like Jim (Deb):  Billy Gilman, We' McDonald, Sundance Head.  Sundance got more picks than I expected.  I'm sure y'all are smarter than me on this one.

WW Like A Wrecking Ball (Tim):  Billy Gilman, We' McDonald, Ali Caldwell.  I find nothing to comment on here, again, solid picks.

Good luck to you all and we'll be speaking later this week!
Brother Pat

Updated Standings and it is Bonus Pick Time!!

"There's a new kid in town"
                  --The Eagles

MY GOODNESS!

The live round bonus always shuffles the standings and this year is no exception.  With a big four singers advancing, Carson's Way has not only surged to the top, she has taken a commanding 5 point lead over the trio of Deb, Tim and yours truly who are each advancing three singers each.

Just behind those are Jim (also three singers) and Gina T (two, but one of them is We' McDonald) and the battles/knockouts were tough on Talisman Winship and Gina M, each of whom are down to just one singer as we enter the lives.

This is one of the biggest weeks of the season, and rest assured there will be a proper recap.  But in the meantime, choose your three bonus picks from the following:

Austin Allsup
Ali Caldwell
Christian Cuevas
Riley Elmore, Crooner
Brendan Fletcher
Josh Gallagher
Aaron Gibson
Billy Gilman
Simone Gundy
Josh Halverson
Dana Harper
Courtney Harrell
Sundance Head
Belle Jewel
We' McDonald
Kylie Rothfield
Sa'Rayah
Sophia Urista
Darby Walker
Jason Warrior

HERE ARE THE STANDINGS!!

Good luck with your bonus picks!!
Brother Pat

Standings updated through first week of Knockouts

"Can't go left in General Pinochet's Cadillac"
                            -- Camper Van Beethoven

Will Talisman Winship fade from our memories before the live rounds even begin?

Can Tim keep his iron grip on first place or will Gina T/Erin knock him off?

Can Jim make up ground with three singers to the lives?

Might Debbie actually start stalking Alicia Keys?

Could Pat eventually get an actual recap in on time?

The answers to all this AND MORE will be revealed soon.

Heads up!!  After the knockouts it is once again BONUS PICK TIME.  You'll be reminded.

Hope all had a Happy Halloween and now let the spirit move Adam on to another gig because man am I tired of that dude.

OH.  Deb is not impressed with Tim & Faith as mentors.  At all.

GET'CHER STANDINGS RIGHT HERE!!

Yours in election panic,
Brother Pat