So Anyways, About Last Week.....

As you may have noticed, I kind of went off the grid last week.  I originally thought I could knock out a quick thing this morning but it is the week after Black Friday which for those of us in the retail/wholesale world means that there is a lot to do so that's out.

I will have a double recap this week and even promise to have it done on time!  Talk to you soon.....

Yours in turkey sandwiches,

Brother Pat

Second Live Rounds Sink Wedding Planners

“But tiny children in grown-up clothes whispered all the Crimes of Paris”

                --Elvis Costello

I wasn’t in that much of a mood for The Voice this week, and I really wasn’t in a mood for ballads which is no big thing unless you are actually trying to keep track of things and half the songs are ballad-y.  After cutting what seems like 24 people last week we only lost one this time so there was little shifting around in the standings, though we pour one out for Ed and his Doomsday Wedding Planners who lost his last singer AND his last bonus pick, so he will end up with 20 points and at least ahead of Tim and myself.  By the way I notice that the numbers are formatting weird, I'll have to try and figure that out at some point.

Super late in doing this because I got busy at work yesterday so let’s jump straight to this weeks rankings:

1)      Madi Davis (6 last week).  She didn’t have her hat (!!) though I guess a bun can be sort of the same thing when you come right down to it.  I know that it gets some grief because of being played a metric fuckton when it came out but I always liked Who Will Save Your Soul and I LOVED her phrasing on it.  I figure that however much you liked Rickie Lee Jones will guide how much you like Madi.  I like Rickie Lee Jones.  I really like Madi Davis.  One of two songs I’d be willing to download this week.

2)      Jordan Smith (8 last week).  I can’t put my finger on what makes me uncomfortable about him but it has at least a little bit to do with how pure he comes off as a person.  It can be awkward to be around someone who is willing to put their fragility on their sleeve, there is a bravery about that as well as a kind of sadness and really this sentence is just telling me that I still can’t put my finger on it.  But he did the gospel song and it was just lovely.  And he is apparently getting the downloads so maybe he is more of a force to be reckoned with than I thought earlier.

3)      Amy Vachal (2 last week).   Over the past four or five months I’ve gotten away from my ipod and have been mostly streaming my music.  As a result I subscribed to Pandora and have been building out four or five stations to choose from based on my mood.  One of them focuses on rap and one of the pleasant surprises of that channel has been that I like Drake quite a bit, and actually know Hotline Bling.  I give Adam plenty of shit for song choice but that one worked so well.  She looks good in white doesn’t she?  I thought it was excellent and it is the other song from this past week that I’ll likely download.  By the way, did anyone else notice that her dad looked EXACTLY like Walter White?

4)      Shelby Brown (5 last week).  Deb pointed out about halfway through the show that the women were kicking the guys asses and I couldn’t agree more.  The women are much stronger than the men this season so it will be interesting to see how it shakes out given that winners have tended to be men.  Shelby had a moment in her presong segment which sparked an exchange:

Deb:  I don’t understand why she is so fragile?

Me:  She’s a fat seventeen year old girl.

Deb:  Fair point.

Anyway, I didn’t know the Jamey Johnson song and as mentioned wasn’t in the mood for a ballad anyway but I am glad she is in my bonus picks because she is quite good and I like rooting for her.

5)      Zach Seabaugh (1 last week).  I forgot all about Zach (though apparently Emily Ann’s friends haven’t).  He had a tough act to follow after Jordan and it showed when he hit a really weird note early while winking at someone in the audience (of course).  He has to be just a lunkhead, right?  I don’t mean that in a bad way, but more like he is a good looking Jughead.

6)      Emily Ann Roberts (10 last week).  All right you guys, this was my favorite segment of the night mainly because she was just adorable in her preview.  YEAH IT’S ABOUT DUMB BOYS.  Indeed.  Then she followed it up by hitting Zach with the “ALL MY FRIENDS ARE IN LOVE WITH YOU AND I’M SICK OF IT!”  Her performance wasn’t the best but it was perfectly fine and she sold it the best she could, besides, boys ARE dumb.  I also loved Gwen loving the song about the two-timing cheater.  TAKE THAT GAVIN.

7)      Jeffery Austin (9 last week).  Another ballad.  I asked Deb if this Let It Go was the one from Frozen and Deb just said “No Pat” and sort of chuckled.  I spent the rest of the song trying to think of what the Frozen song sounds like so I can’t comment on the performance except that partway through Deb said something about how badly his pants fit and I agree with that.

8)      Korin Bukowski (11 last week).  I thought it was weird that Gwen suggested dying her hair platinum and dressing up like Gwen was going to help Korin find herself.  I like her voice and I like her tone and style but let’s face it – this is only The Voice up until we get to the live rounds and then you have to have more than just a Voice, you have to be able to perform effectively and I don’t think Korin has those chops yet.  Does anyone else think that Blake is praising Gwen’s artists more than he usually would?

9)      Evan McKeel (7 last week).  Evan McKeel looks like the kind of guy who has digestive issues.  I forgot about Evan as well and then he said he was singing Kenny Loggins and I wished he’d stayed forgotten.  It sounded very much like Kenny Loggins singing This Is It so I guess it was good?  Maybe a bit more high-stepping here.  Gwen says WOW for the third time tonight.  I don’t really understand what Pharrell said.

10)   Braiden F’ing Sunshine (3 last week).  I don’t think I’ve heard Renegade by Styx since high school.  Between sometimes wearing the glasses and sometimes not and sometimes having the curly hair and sometimes not I just find myself far more invested in the things that irritate me than his singing, though it did seem he was having trouble keeping his breath through the entire lyric.  Adam is a fan, Blake wanted to drink with him, I didn’t understand what Pharrell said and Gwen just loves him.  Me?  I want to slap him.

11)   Mark Hood (12 last week).  I keep calling him Mark Hall.  I hated Against All Odds when it came out and haven’t changed my mind on it.  Deb likes the song but was still bored.  I was bored but I thought his black suit was on point and made the performance about 10% better just by itself.  He’s gone now and I’ll probably still call him Mark Hall if I remember him down the road.

12)   Barrett Baber (5 last week).  Carson excitedly said “Barrett Baber is putting a country spin on a rock ballad!!!”  Gee, that’s NEVER been done before.  My mind wandered and then it was over.

So we are down to 11 singers and Deb and Jim have 7 of them.  AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!

Check out THE SCOREBOARD here!!!

With love,

Brother Pat

I Wanna Make Her Stay Up All Night

"Mommy had.  A little baby.
There she is.  Fast asleep.
She's just.  A little plaything.
Why not.  Wake her up?"
                 -- Talking Heads

BIG NEWS THERE IS A NEW ARRIVAL TO THE TSAVFL FAMILY!!!

Let Erin and her husband Steve introduce:

The adorable Mary Grace!

Luckily she won't be reading for awhile yet so I don't have to watch my typing mouth quite yet.

Congratulations Erin and Steve!  Be sure to always let her know that Adam is stupid.

(edited to remove pictures pending finalization of process....)

The Week One Live Massacree!!

“Everybody’s singing with their hand on their heart

About deeds done in the darkest hours

It’s just the sort of catchy little melody

To get you singing in the showers”

                --Elvis Costello

My God friends, it was a BLOODBATH!  Start with twenty singers, stir in four more and then BAM cut the group in half.  There were shakeups and shakeouts in the standings and rosters and it was proven once again just how hard TSAVFL Bonus Picks are to get right. 

This week was week one of a two week Pat & Deb Voice road show!  We were the grateful guests of Ed and Gina M. this week and next week will be watching with my fellow eliminated team captain Tim.  Ed and Gina now know and Tim will soon just how anticlimactic it is to have me as an audience member.  We felt bad because Ed & Gina had watched both Monday and Tuesday’s show where Deb & I had not so they had to sit through it again.  A Clockwork Orange has got nothin’ on THAT.  My old laptop also ran out of juice before we got to Barrett and Mark at the end of Tuesday’s show and all of the results but I’m going a different way with this week’s recap anyway so it’s all cool.

The bringing back people was a stupid idea, especially when you see how many people were getting cut after the first live rounds – you know the coaches cut those folks for a reason last time and America was not voting them over the top three of five that had already made it.  But cruelty is part of The Voice fun plus Nadjah got recognized for being JOBBED so that part of it was funnish.  I agreed for the most part with the returnees and even would have ranked some of them above the existing team members but I would not have had any of them going forward, not even Nadjah unfortunately because all I could hear in my head as she was singing was Trump saying “very low energy, not very energetic at all” and then I felt a little sad.

Sometimes logic just comes easily while watching.  Viktor gets assigned All Around the World by Lisa Stanfield so it is easily proven that GWEN CANNOT PICK A FUCKING SONG!  My God.   However, Blake looked quite satisfied all night so that is an endorsement for Gwen.  Fortuna’s wheel spins on.

That reminds me.  A game for you!  Who said what:   Viktor should be -

a)      On a cruise ship

b)      At a charity event

c)       In Europe

Who will you miss the most?  I’ll miss Ellie and her creepy Gwen stalker vibe (and the triceratops tattoo on her arm, so odd); I will of course miss darling Ivonne but at least she got Homecoming Queen.  I’ll miss Darius as well, him getting cut while Mark goes through is a mystery to me and then, as always, Nadjah.

Why don’t we rank some things?  That’s always fun!  As ever my rankings are calculated by a super secret procedure that would take far too long to explain but all you need to know is that they are always correct.

Coaches’ teams ranked:

1)      Blake – Barrett Baber, Emily Ann Roberts and Zach Seabaugh. 

2)      Adam – Amy Vachal, Jordan Smith and Shelby Brown.  I might have made him number one but am confident as ever that Adam will find a way to fuck this up.

3)      Gwen – Jeffery Austin, Braiden F’ing Sunshine and Korin Bukowski. 

4)      Pharrell – Mark Hall, Evan McKeel and Madi Davis.  I think Braiden goes further than all of them.

Bonus picks ranked:

1)      Fluffy Bookworms (Gina T):  Barrett Baber, Braiden F’ing Sunshine and Blaine Mitchell.  Two strong candidates.

2)      Brother Pat (yay!):  Zach Seabaugh, Shelby Brown and Darius Scott.  I was surprised nobody else picked either Zach or Shelby.  

3)      (tie) I Wanna Win Like Jim (Deb):  Amy Vachal, Jordan Smith and Morgan Frazier.

(tie) Hummingbird Lightfoot and the Sorry not Sorry (Jim):  Amy Vachal, Madi Davis and Viktor Kiraly.  I can’t decide yet whether Madi or Jordan goes further.

4)      Supernatural Prep School Girls (Erin):  Amy Vachal, Korin Bukowski and Morgan Frazier.

5)      Cupcake Bounty Hunters (Gina M):  Amy Vachal, Ivonne Acero and Darius Scott.

6)      Doomsday Wedding Planners (Ed):  Mark Hall, Ivonne Acero and Riley Biederer.

7)      Frat Bro Hermits (Tim):  Viktor Kiraly, Riley Biederer and Regina Love.  Ouch.

And best of all, remaining singers ranked:

1)      Zach Seabaugh.  Man, dude was gyrating like Elvis.  Blake thinks he is a heartthrob and so do I.

2)      Amy Vachal.  Deb:  “I wish you were still on Pharrell’s team!”  The Way You Look Tonight is both Deb’s and Gina M’s favorite Sinatra song.  Mine is Fly Me to the Moon.  Ed’s is unknown.  I can’t shake a nagging feeling that she is an early “SHOCKING EXIT!” but rated her here despite that concern.

 

3)      Braiden Fucking Sunshine.  I hate myself.  By the way, I don’t believe Braiden was impressed for one second about HANGING AROUND WITH BLUES TRAVELER.

4)      Shelby Brown.  The 17 Year Old Alabama Spitfire!!  I didn’t need to hear You’re No Good again but she did it well, I thought her outfit was sort of horrible though and made her look a hard lived 30.

5)      Barrett Baber.  I think there has to be an eventual showdown between Barrett and Zach because they both aren’t going to the final, just not sure when it will happen.

6)      Madi Davis.  You could probably arrange 2-6 in any order; I kind of see them as all in the same group at this point.  I really want her to do well but I wasn’t that impressed with her performance of that Fleetwood Mac song, though to be fair judging by the comments around me I was the outlier there.  When I closed my eyes and listened I liked it better.  Have we seen her without the hat?

7)      Evan McKeel.  He may not be the tapioca you deserve, but he is the tapioca that is here.  They’ve been promoting him singing Overjoyed for five weeks now so I was sort of tired of the song before he even started.

8)      Jordan Smith.  The Inspiring Artist From Kentucky Who Is Singing Beyonce!!  Ed and I agreed that he did not warrant the four coach standing ovation.  I feel horrible for saying it but he creeps me out.  Someone told Ed that Jordan reminded them of Roger Ebert, which I loved.

9)      Jeffrey Austin.  He sang and we were all talking and frankly I don’t even remember the performance but gathered that it was Sam Smith.  Adam says he could win the whole thing, but the fact it is super easy to tune him out while he sings makes me think no, he cannot.  Not at all.

10)   Emily Ann Roberts.  Blake says she is creating her own genre.  I think Blake has taken some shots to the head because I’ve actually heard gospel ballads before.  Ed noticed that she is the only 17 year old on the show who actually seems 17, and I think that is a solid observation.

11)   Korin Bukowski.  Please NBC, let’s you and I make a deal that you will never have a contestant sing Sarah McLaughlin ever again because all I think of then is tortured and starving puppies and THAT ISN’T GREAT.  Partway through the song Deb and Gina in unison said:  “Give her a No Doubt song!”  That would be fun.

12)   Mark Hall.  I got nothin’.

As for TSAVFL, stop me if you’ve heard this before but Deb and Jim are gonna be duking it out.  Deb has FOUR people still left while Jim has three!  Gina M has two and Ed, Erin and Gina Turner each are down to one.  Tim is joining me on the sidelines to talk shit about all of you as we mutter vague threats about next year being different.  

So there we are!  I know you probably want to check out THE SCOREBOARD at some point and until next week,

Keep on TSAVFL’in,

Brother Pat

Bonus Picks Are In!!

I haven't watched this week yet, but I wanted to post with everyone's bonus picks in order to spark conversations of trash and jealousy.  Hey, it's what I do.   Lots of variety this year which I think speaks to the fact that there isn't the type of frontrunner we've seen in the past:

I Wanna Win Like Jim (Debbie):  Amy Vachal, Morgan Frazier and Jordan Smith.

Fluffy Bookworms (Gina T):  Barrett Baber, Blaine Mitchell and Braiden F'ing Sunshine.

Hummingbird Lightfoot & The Sorry Not Sorry (Jim):  Amy Vachal, Viktor Kiraly and Madi Davis.

Doomsday Wedding Planners (Ed):  Ivonne Acero, Mark Hood and Riley Biederer.

Cupcake Bounty Hunters (Gina M):  Amy Vachal, Ivonne Acero and Darius Scott.

Supernatural Prep School Girls (Erin):  Amy Vachal, Korin Bukowski and Morgan Frazier.

Frat Bro Hermits (Tim):  Regina Love, Viktor Kiraly and Riley Biederer.

Brother Pat's Traveling Salvation Show (Pat):  Darius Scott, Zach Seabaugh and Shelby Brown.

For those of you who like stats like this:
Amy Vachal -- 4 teams
Ivonne Acero -- 2 teams
Riley Biederer -- 2 teams
Morgan Frazier -- 2 teams
Viktor Kiraly -- 2 teams
Darius Scott -- 2 teams
Barrett Baber -- 1 team
Shelby Brown -- 1 team
Korin Bukowski -- 1 team
Madi Davis -- 1 team
Mark Hood -- 1 team
Regina Love -- 1 team
Blaine Mitchell -- 1 team
Zach Seabaugh -- 1 team
Jordan Smith -- 1 team
Braiden F'ing Sunshine -- 1 team

I'll get these into the scoreboard sometime this week.  Thanks for getting me your picks y'all!!

Knockouts End And There Is A Battle For Top Spot!

“It’s a fight to the finish let there be no doubt

As the seconds turn to minutes I can count you out”

                --Elvis Costello

I almost always end up rooting for someone in a battle or knockout round, don’t you?  Sometimes it is clear as glass, as when Siahna Im went up against Mark Hood and I was acting casual but thinking OH MY GOD SIAHNA PLEASE DO GOOD OH MAN SHE IS SINGING BACK TO BLACK I LOVE HER AND WANT HER TO WIN SO BAD; but then there are other matches like Tim Atlas and Evan McKeel where I had no idea who I wanted, (by the way if you ever feel completely undecided about something, flip a coin.  When the coin is in the air you will know which choice you prefer.  You’re welcome.) until Tim started singing Natalie Ambruglia which I didn’t think he could but then he did and YEAH I WANT TIM TO WIN but he didn’t.  Actually, I don’t know that I did that well with my rooting interests this week (seeing the standings I’m sure that surprises you, dear reader):

Wanted Shelby Brown over James Dupre.  1-0.

Wanted Siahna Im over Mark Hood.  1-1.

Wanted Kota Wade over Jeffrey Austin.  1-2.

Wanted Nadjah Nicole over Emily Ann Roberts.  1-3 and NADJAH GOT JOBBED SO BAD I CAN’T STAND IT BLAKE COULD NOT EVEN LOOK AT HER WHEN MAKING THE DECISION BECAUSE HE KNEW SHE WON THAT FUCKING BATTLE IN A WALK!!!  GODDAMNIT THE VOICE!

Wanted Tim Atlas over Evan McKeel.  1-4.  Shit.

OK, didn’t really have a pick between Regina Love and Riley Biederer and didn’t bother to flip a coin because I didn’t care THAT much.  So 1-4.  Yeah, this has been a good year for me.

Doesn’t Ann Wilson : rock singing equal Whitney Houston: pop singing?  I think this week was the first time I’ve heard a Heart song done in any kind of singing competition show and afterwards it was clear why.  That shit is hard.

So the battles have been battled and the knockouts have been tallied and we are to the live shows and what that means my TSAVFL friends is this:  BONUS PICK TIME!!!  Email me your three finalists by end Sunday, so you have a few days to ponder.  In the meantime, let’s see how our teams are doing, shall we?

WE HAVE A THREE WAY TIE FOR THE LEAD!!  Deb’s I Wanna Win Like Jim, Gina T’s Fluffy Bookworms and Jim’s Hummingbird Lightfoot & the Sorry Not Sorry all still have four members apiece and are locked at the top with 29 points each! 

Deb has:  Amy Vachal, Barrett Baber, Jeffery Austin and Korin Bukowski.

Gina T has:  Blaine Mitchell, Ivonne Acero, Regina Love and Shelby Brown (AND SHOULD HAVE NADJAH NICOLE, GODDAMNIT!)

Jim has:  Braiden F’ing Sunshine, Madi Davis, Viktor Kiraly and Zach Seabaugh.

Tough teams all three.  At this early stage I’ll give a slight edge to I Wanna Win Like Jim who seems like they should get at least two members a ways further with possibly three.  Hummingbird Lightfoot would be right behind, he also has two that look pretty certain to advance awhile but not sure there is a third there and Fluffy Bookworms to my eyes has one finalist but not sure who else is going far right now.

I wonder if Chris Crump actually threw up on stage or what.  Because there were some pretty blah knockouts but to have his be the only one not shown says something.

Behind the top three are the Gina M and Ed household, with Gina M’s Cupcake Bounty Hunters currently sitting fourth a few points ahead of Ed’s Doomsday Wedding Planners.  I see Gina’s three (Evan McKeel, Jordan Smith and Riley Biederer) outlasting Ed’s two (Keith Semple & Summer Schappell) as the live rounds progress.  Erin’s Supernatural Prep School Girls is behind them but I could see either her members (Emily Ann Roberts & Morgan Frazier) going very far or not going far at all and am not sure that I’ll be surprised either way. 

I love that Blake calls both men and women “buddy”.

And then just like last year, Tim’s Frat Bro Hermits (member: Darius Scott) and my own Brother Pat’s Traveling Salvation Show (deserted) sit at the bottom.  The leaders have 29 points each.  I have 4.  But Darius Scott is a possible finalist as well so Tim may be able to make some movement given prescient bonus picks.

IT IS A DONNYBROOK FOR THE TSAVFL TROPHY!!  Can’t wait to see how it develops!

SCOREBOARD HERE!

Never forget I love each and every one of you,

Brother Pat