TSAVFL Unveils A New Feature -- Our First Guest Recapper!

“Something’s wrong ‘cause my mind is fading

And everywhere I look there’s a dead end waiting”

                   --Beck

I’ve been fragile the last couple weeks.  I dislike talking about my mood issues because it feels weak and we all have our issues to deal with, but since I’m up front in these it’s just what it is.  Anyway, it’s been hard to motivate myself, and so Deb and I had the following conversation as she was getting ready to fire up The Voice this week:

D:  (looking at me) Are you ready for The Voice?

P:  (shrugs) Yeah, sure.

D:  (still looking at me since I am making no attempt to get the laptop or a notebook) Um, are you going to take notes?

P:  Probably, we’ll see.

D:  Would you like me to take the notes this week?

P:  YES!!

So friends, we have our very first GUEST RECAPPER.  It may not be the last because I’ll tell you all right now that as soon as Paxton came on saying he was going to sing Whitney I was tuning right the fuck out – so if you’ve ever read these and thought “I WANT TO DO THAT” then friend, just let me know!  I’m not dropping the mike or anything, but this season is getting on my nerves.

Anyway!  Deb did not want to write her notes into a recap, so I’m going off of them not totally verbatim but putting it into a narrative.  Take it away, my love!

As mentioned, Paxton was going to sing Whitney Houston with an “acoustic vibe” though what happened had me thinking “what’s acoustic about this?”  Also the arrangement didn’t feel right and the dots on the stage made me think of a Tampax box.  The judges talk and all I hear is “blah blah blah”.

Oh My God!  What in the world was Evil Sorceress Xtina wearing this week?  Did she forget part of her outfit?

Now Carson is talking about The Voice app and The Voice page and The Voice blah blah blah and then came out with the BIG NEWS that PINK!! is joining The Voice family!  Oh, look!  She is swinging on fabric gee I’ve NEVER seen that before!

I did think the previews for Alice Through The Looking Glass looked good though.

Mary Sarah is next singing My Church.  She sounds off during rehearsal to me – hey, I think Blake and I heard the same thing!  First verse was meh but things took off with the chorus.  I like her and thought her sparkly boots were awesome.

I called it that Nick Hagelin’s beautiful wife and adorable kid wouldn’t save him this week.  My first thoughts (other than wondering if by “girls” Xtina meant her boobs?) was……don’t dance!  I didn’t like the arrangement and keep thinking that I’d rather listen to the original, it seems like he was switching from one persons voice to another.  And I hated that shirt!  It looked like a nightshirt.

Hannah sang Say You Love Me – I love her and just watched her in order to enjoy it.  Preach, Pharrell, preach!  She is so believable.

Shalyah – whoa, Sam Cooke, you go, girl!  But you are too young to really feel the meaning of that song.  Pat thought her outfit was pretty.

My rankings to this point:

Hannah

Shalyah

Mary Sarah

Paxton

Nick

Laith – I’m bored.  I wish I had gotten dessert at the store,  I like when Adam drums, it sounded good.  God, taking notes is giving me a headache, how does Pat do it?  Is anybody else bored?

I don’t particularly like note taking.

Man, I miss Gwen’s fashion sense.  I’m torturing Pat by not forwarding through this duet though this, this is a shitty song, did a 14 year old write this??  OK, I’m forwarding now.

Hey, I forgot about Adam’s shout out to Michelle Obama and Bonnie Raitt!!  Wow, it’s like he knows me.

Big surprise, pimp spot again for Alisan.  Cute kids, take a page out of Nick’s book why don’t you you fucking horrible bragger.

Oh, wait.  Bryan still has his song to go……..he’s handsome singing this song.  Oh my.

Brother Pat again.  Thanks, Deb, I thought that was great!  Jim extends his lead because of course he does – Can’t Truss It remains in second with Spring Breakers & Carson’s Way in a BATTLE for third.  Train a’ Comin’ is closer and closer to climbing out of the basement and assuming Alisan keeps going (which c’mon you know she will) he will be knocking Johnny 0 Is Alive to the bottom as Ed joins Deb and I with nobody left.

STANDINGS ARE HERE!

Next week we lose three, I believe.  That should be fun!  In the meantime,

I love each and every one of you,

Brother Pat