Two Weeks Of The Voice And Does Anything Really Matter??

“And I’ve been looking for a good time

But the pleasures are seldom and few”

                       --Beck

Hi again.  Yep, missed a week and I’m not sure whether it is recapper’s block or if The Voice is just wearing my ass down.  Anyway it’s not important, what is important is the wonder that is TSAVFL and so let’s talk a little bit about the past couple weeks.

The Top 11 show gave me two lines that turns out are guaranteed to lose my attention:

                “An inspirational song by Paxton Ingram!”

                “Blake’s country artist takes on Journey!”

It also had some things that kept my attention but not in a great way:

Adam to the doomed Owen “Let’s BLOW THE DOORS OFF!!” and then picks Fire and Rain. 

Xtina!  Pardon me for the observation but I’m not necessarily a breast man but my God she had the girls front and center.  Goodness.

Nick sang Your Body Is A Wonderland.  Ugh.  Can Crash Into You be far behind??

There was a good thing or two:

Time After Time is Cyndi Lauper’s best song and I will not accept any other choice.

It struck me as Laith sang Ed Sheeran (sigh) that my problem with classic rock is just the fact that I’ve heard it all so many times, it is comforting occasionally but I’m just way more interested in listening to things I have not heard hundreds of times before.  So the cool thing with Laith is that he can make a new song sound like a new classic rock song and that is fun.  He was my favorite of the night for the first time.

Now for this week!  Deb was glad to see the First Lady and Dr. Jill and apparently we’re at the point where we get a group sing.  SO MUCH SUCK.  I walked out of the room halfway through because I was nowhere near high enough to watch the rest of the show after a start like that. 

Of course when I got back the very next thing was the doomed and shaken Daniel Passino singing I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing FOR FUCKS SAKE.  This was the point where I made the following note:

THEME:  THERE ARE MANY THINGS I HATE.

Luckily Shalyah came on next and her mom called her Pookie and though I did not know the song at least it wasn’t friggin’ Aerosmith.  I ended up liking her much better partly because Shalyah represents much of what is good and right in the world but also partly because the weed kicked in thank God.

The reason I never understand Pharrell is that he speaks in Art.

I think Xtina has a small crush on Nick.  “I couldn’t tell if it was Michael really singing or not ha ha!!”.  Yeah sure.  I will give him credit for not exploiting anyone for the first week I can recall, and though he is not my favorite I think he did fine.  However my lovely wife did not and it was delightful if a bit profane:  “AAAUGH.  I just think this is HORRIBLE!!  GOD NOW HE’S GOING TO POLE DANCE GOD NOW HE’S GOT A STRIPPER MOVE GOING ON OH!  OH!!  OH!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT WAS HORRIBLE!!! UUUUUCK!”

Hannah is confident right now and she should be.  I was listening and typing and not watching the screen until Deb said “Man, she is HOT in the bodysuit!” and I hurt my neck a little bit snapping to attention because, wow, she did.  I know things aren’t real so of course she has a persona but she is very skilled in making it look like she doesn’t and it makes her a breath of fresh air this season.

It is great that Laith is getting some success after all these years but at the same time I feel like he is right on the ragged edge of being unknown enough to be on The Voice since he does seem to have some sort of reputation in blues circles.  I PREFER MY UNKNOWNS TO BE UNKNOWN DAMN IT.  I was underwhelmed because of the famous song curse, did that B.B. King song really need reinterpretation?  Why not take a song that ISN’T blues and reinvent it?

Paxton Ingram sang Celine Dion and I hate the entire world at this point.

I can’t imagine a man winning this season and feel that if one did it would be a travesty on the order of Trump becoming President.

Deb loved Mary Sarah’s outfit and I liked the Tammy Wynette cover.

Despite not speaking Spanish I like hearing latino music because even a narcocorrido sounds romantic.  Bryan’s song was not a narcocorrido but I figured that out watching him salsa across the stage.  I think he is my favorite of the men.

Curly Sue Gone Wrong exploits her addiction again but y’know whatever gets you through, she probably deserves to.  I closed my eyes for most of it and then had the following exchange with Deb:

P:  she sounds like Susan Tedechi.

D: Bonnie.

P: Etheridge.

D:  Yeah, all those guys.

Adam gets the prime time spot and sings Ray Charles.  It was fine, little dull for me.

My rankings for the night:

Alisan

Hannah

Shalyah

Mary Sarah

Bryan

Laith

Adam

Getting Hit By A Car

Paxton

Nick

Daniel

Pretty right on!!

As for the standings, Jim still has three alive and is cruising once again with a big 9 point lead over Gina M’s Can’t Truss It!  Spring Breakers and Carson’s Way are duking it out for third while Deb’s Under Pressure joins me with her last two being eliminated in the past two weeks.  I can’t see anyone catching Jim at this point but the battle for second may well come down to Bonus Picks, as might the battle for last place -- though Tim is there right now Curly Sue Gone Wrong will pull him out of it soon.  IT’S A RUNAWAY FOR THE TOP SPOT.

Standings are RIGHT HERE!!

Wearily yours,

Brother Pat