We Wrap Up The Season With A Kind Of Live Blog From The Road Thing That Isn't But You'll See What I Mean, Plus I Ponder The Inevitable Folly Of Pulling Meaning Out Of Thin Air And Why Would One Even Try Something Like That?

“I said ‘Lady, step inside my Hyundai’

I’m gonna take you up to Glendale, yeah

Gonna take you for a real good meal”

                --Beck

Two disappointing seasons in a row for me.  I think the talent was better this time than the trainwreck of last season, but it all just fell flat in the end as it usually does.  Part of that I think was the many many weeks of just one elimination which dragged out the inevitable until the last purge at the end – I believe I’ve argued to do just that in the past and if I did, boy was I wrong. 

A greater factor was a realization I had this week.  When we started the TSAVFL and this whole recap thing came into focus what I was trying to accomplish is what I try to accomplish in so many areas of my life which is trying to pull some semblance of profundity out of absurdity and let’s face it friends, The Voice is about as absurd as it gets.  It worked for quite awhile but after time there just isn’t all that much there there and so trying to find something interesting and vital becomes harder and harder and finally impossible.  You can only squeeze out so much meaning from, say, a cucumber.  Or Pharrell.  Anyway, it was a goal that was doomed to failure from the very beginning and so at this point I’ve realized that while there isn’t much more to be mined in an interesting (to me) way we might as well just embrace the ridiculousness and I think that will be more fun (for me) going forward.

So we are going to “live-ish” blog the finale in this recap!!  We went to Tim and Greg’s house last night to watch the finale and then go through the results and what I thought would be fun is to try and be as verbatim about some of the conversation as I was able to in addition to my own observations.  We were down to Alisan, Hannah, Adam and Laith.  It was a travesty that Shalyah wasn’t in the final, frankly it was a travesty that the finale wasn’t all women – Shalyah and Mary Sarah were better than Laith and Adam on their worst days and you know that is true.  The patriarchy strikes again.

That reminds me!  Congratulations are due to Tim and Greg for their nuptials!  We had a lovely time on Lake Union last week watching them get married and another lovely time on Saturday getting stinking drunk at their party.  Finally off the market after 25 years!  Cheers you two!

Do you think it was a coincidence that all four coaches had a singer in the finale??  I do not. 

We see Xtina for the first time.  G:  Oh God.  D:  What the hell Christina??  T:  Hey, she is embracing our wedding theme!  (Hawaiian).

I compared Laith to Paul Giamatti earlier this year but I may change that to a younger George R.R. Martin so all I kept thinking was GET TO WORK ON THE NEXT BOOK GODDAMNIT.    The show is The Voice, not The Guitar Voice.  He sings White Room by Cream because of course he does.

D:  I think it is cool when Adam gets on the drums.

T:  Well at least he’s not talking.

The lights flash wildly behind Laith.

T:  It’s like high school.

P:  I like a good mushroom song.

T:  He has a great stage presence, you  know, the way he taps his foot.  Really controls the stage.

G:  When he first came out I thought he was wearing an Adam tattoo but then realized it was just paisley.

Next was Alisan and the first thing we saw from her was a squeal  AAAAHHOOOWWWMY GAHHHHHD!! It was earsplitting.  Then she is explaining her song to Christina (SPOILER:  It’s about recovery!) and says “totally” five times in a row.  The song begins:

D:  (stammers for around 15 seconds)

T:  Is she standing on something?  Oh, it’s her legs.

D:  OMG, whoever styles her does a HORRIBLE job.  And I’m just gonna say it, the placement of those jewels looks like her vag. 

G:  Are they pearls?  It’s a clam!

We called her Clam Girl for the rest of the song.  I thought it was the most boring shit that ever shat.

P:  Oh fuck, we’re doing duets as well? 

Adam and Blake sleepwalk through their old Hank song while we chat:

D (to T):  That duet with Blake and Gwen was AWFUL that was such a piece of crap song.

T:  He was on Live with Kelly on Friday and said that he wrote it and then emailed it to her and then she emailed it back and then OMG we have a beautiful song together.  But some of the shit Blake writes, like Honeybee, what the hell is that?

G:  I only heard it once and remember it, I was driving out of Death Valley and then wanted to turn around and drive back in.

Pharrell calls Hannah Hannah Banana and I die just a little bit inside.  She cries talking about her students which seems genuine but just because I want it to be.  She sings Every Breath You Take and wants to give it more of a creepy stalker vibe but THAT IS WHAT THE SONG ALREADY IS.  Geez.  Not much talking there and I really liked it but couldn’t shake the feeling that it could have been just ever so much more.

Duet for Adam and Laith on Golden Slumbers which is a great and righteous song and a pretty perfect duet for these two, not that we paid much attention because we were thinking of restaurant ideas for a friend of Greg’s brother who was in town instead but sure, it was great.

Now Adam is singing his own song and Blake is THRILLED about the line “Loving you is like staring into the sun” and my reaction is more like UGH, THAT is why these guys never go anywhere after this show, they can’t write a song for the life of them. 

T:  Now he looks exactly like a country singer.  (Tim is from Walla Walla, Washington so he KNOWS country).

P:  Shit, I could grow my hair out, put on a hat and vest, strap on a guitar and look like a country singer.

D (to T):  He’s always hated him.  It’s irrational.

T (to me):  I want you to write this down so there is a record for when you try to look like a country singer.

Laith wrote a song that, surprise!, lends itself to several guitar solos.  I have nothing to say to that.  He plays on:

D:  Actually this is my favorite of the originals so far.

T:  Of course it is because it sounds totally familiar.

The conversation then takes a swing into the judges on America’s Got Talent which says something, right?

D (whispers to T):  Pat’s really taking notes tonight.

G:  Are we going to get a preview?

P:  Not a chance.

D:  I don’t even get previews.

Then Adam sings a Vince Gill song that I didn’t like and then Hannah sings her original song and says a very true and cool thing, “I get to work with the producer of the generation!” and it is awesome.  Again, I liked it – Hannah is the only person I want to win anymore but man, her mom needs to not smile so big, that is a lot of gum showing.  Then Alisan sings a West Side Story song which for me was notable only in how genuinely moved Christina was afterwards, that was rare and nice to see.

Our guesses after the finale:  I pick Hannah, everyone else picks Alisan.

We switch live to results and WHAT THE FUCK TWO GODDAMN HOURS WHAT THE HELL IS THIS AND WE’RE CAUGHT UP SO CAN’T FAST FORWARD WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME NBC YOU BASTARDS?????  I don’t know if I will be able to take it.

We watch Cee-lo’s duet with Hannah and it was amusing to watch how she did everything possible to not have to touch him at all and mostly succeeded.  Then we watched Alisan’s team performance and that’s it.  Seriously.  I can’t do any more of this.  So we look it up and HEY!  Alisan wins! 

What does all this mean for our TSAVFL?   I THOUGHT YOU’D NEVER ASK!

Congratulations to Hummingbird Lightfoot and the Sorry not Sorry (also known as the Blake Shelton of the TSAVFL) for his third win, and a landslide one at that with a 21 point margin over the second place Can’t Truss It for Gina M.   It was a razor thin East Coast battle for third with Gina T’s Spring Breakers just edging Erin’s Carson’s Way by one point.  Train a’ Comin’ was charging down the stretch but just ended up a few points back in fifth place with 41 points – some better luck in the battles and he would have ended up right in the thick of it.  My The Big Short and Ed’s Johnny 5 is Alive tied at 33 after that and the last place trophy goes to the lovely Deb and Under Pressure, in a stunning first to worst performance .  I thought Ed had the bottom trophy wrapped up but forgot about bonus points and his two successful picks there lifted him out of the cellar.

FINAL STANDINGS ARE HERE!!! 

Well friends, rivals and compatriots, that wraps up another season of the TSAVFL.  While The Voice disappoints me lately, none of you do at all and I am more than happy to pick this up again in the Fall if everyone is in.  In the meantime, the blog will not go completely silent – I have a writing project I plan to start here in the next couple weeks so if you get a chance feel free to pop by occasionally and check it out.

Until then I remain, really bad at this game but so fond of every one of you,

Brother Pat

TSAVFL Unveils A New Feature -- Our First Guest Recapper!

“Something’s wrong ‘cause my mind is fading

And everywhere I look there’s a dead end waiting”

                   --Beck

I’ve been fragile the last couple weeks.  I dislike talking about my mood issues because it feels weak and we all have our issues to deal with, but since I’m up front in these it’s just what it is.  Anyway, it’s been hard to motivate myself, and so Deb and I had the following conversation as she was getting ready to fire up The Voice this week:

D:  (looking at me) Are you ready for The Voice?

P:  (shrugs) Yeah, sure.

D:  (still looking at me since I am making no attempt to get the laptop or a notebook) Um, are you going to take notes?

P:  Probably, we’ll see.

D:  Would you like me to take the notes this week?

P:  YES!!

So friends, we have our very first GUEST RECAPPER.  It may not be the last because I’ll tell you all right now that as soon as Paxton came on saying he was going to sing Whitney I was tuning right the fuck out – so if you’ve ever read these and thought “I WANT TO DO THAT” then friend, just let me know!  I’m not dropping the mike or anything, but this season is getting on my nerves.

Anyway!  Deb did not want to write her notes into a recap, so I’m going off of them not totally verbatim but putting it into a narrative.  Take it away, my love!

As mentioned, Paxton was going to sing Whitney Houston with an “acoustic vibe” though what happened had me thinking “what’s acoustic about this?”  Also the arrangement didn’t feel right and the dots on the stage made me think of a Tampax box.  The judges talk and all I hear is “blah blah blah”.

Oh My God!  What in the world was Evil Sorceress Xtina wearing this week?  Did she forget part of her outfit?

Now Carson is talking about The Voice app and The Voice page and The Voice blah blah blah and then came out with the BIG NEWS that PINK!! is joining The Voice family!  Oh, look!  She is swinging on fabric gee I’ve NEVER seen that before!

I did think the previews for Alice Through The Looking Glass looked good though.

Mary Sarah is next singing My Church.  She sounds off during rehearsal to me – hey, I think Blake and I heard the same thing!  First verse was meh but things took off with the chorus.  I like her and thought her sparkly boots were awesome.

I called it that Nick Hagelin’s beautiful wife and adorable kid wouldn’t save him this week.  My first thoughts (other than wondering if by “girls” Xtina meant her boobs?) was……don’t dance!  I didn’t like the arrangement and keep thinking that I’d rather listen to the original, it seems like he was switching from one persons voice to another.  And I hated that shirt!  It looked like a nightshirt.

Hannah sang Say You Love Me – I love her and just watched her in order to enjoy it.  Preach, Pharrell, preach!  She is so believable.

Shalyah – whoa, Sam Cooke, you go, girl!  But you are too young to really feel the meaning of that song.  Pat thought her outfit was pretty.

My rankings to this point:

Hannah

Shalyah

Mary Sarah

Paxton

Nick

Laith – I’m bored.  I wish I had gotten dessert at the store,  I like when Adam drums, it sounded good.  God, taking notes is giving me a headache, how does Pat do it?  Is anybody else bored?

I don’t particularly like note taking.

Man, I miss Gwen’s fashion sense.  I’m torturing Pat by not forwarding through this duet though this, this is a shitty song, did a 14 year old write this??  OK, I’m forwarding now.

Hey, I forgot about Adam’s shout out to Michelle Obama and Bonnie Raitt!!  Wow, it’s like he knows me.

Big surprise, pimp spot again for Alisan.  Cute kids, take a page out of Nick’s book why don’t you you fucking horrible bragger.

Oh, wait.  Bryan still has his song to go……..he’s handsome singing this song.  Oh my.

Brother Pat again.  Thanks, Deb, I thought that was great!  Jim extends his lead because of course he does – Can’t Truss It remains in second with Spring Breakers & Carson’s Way in a BATTLE for third.  Train a’ Comin’ is closer and closer to climbing out of the basement and assuming Alisan keeps going (which c’mon you know she will) he will be knocking Johnny 0 Is Alive to the bottom as Ed joins Deb and I with nobody left.

STANDINGS ARE HERE!

Next week we lose three, I believe.  That should be fun!  In the meantime,

I love each and every one of you,

Brother Pat

Two Weeks Of The Voice And Does Anything Really Matter??

“And I’ve been looking for a good time

But the pleasures are seldom and few”

                       --Beck

Hi again.  Yep, missed a week and I’m not sure whether it is recapper’s block or if The Voice is just wearing my ass down.  Anyway it’s not important, what is important is the wonder that is TSAVFL and so let’s talk a little bit about the past couple weeks.

The Top 11 show gave me two lines that turns out are guaranteed to lose my attention:

                “An inspirational song by Paxton Ingram!”

                “Blake’s country artist takes on Journey!”

It also had some things that kept my attention but not in a great way:

Adam to the doomed Owen “Let’s BLOW THE DOORS OFF!!” and then picks Fire and Rain. 

Xtina!  Pardon me for the observation but I’m not necessarily a breast man but my God she had the girls front and center.  Goodness.

Nick sang Your Body Is A Wonderland.  Ugh.  Can Crash Into You be far behind??

There was a good thing or two:

Time After Time is Cyndi Lauper’s best song and I will not accept any other choice.

It struck me as Laith sang Ed Sheeran (sigh) that my problem with classic rock is just the fact that I’ve heard it all so many times, it is comforting occasionally but I’m just way more interested in listening to things I have not heard hundreds of times before.  So the cool thing with Laith is that he can make a new song sound like a new classic rock song and that is fun.  He was my favorite of the night for the first time.

Now for this week!  Deb was glad to see the First Lady and Dr. Jill and apparently we’re at the point where we get a group sing.  SO MUCH SUCK.  I walked out of the room halfway through because I was nowhere near high enough to watch the rest of the show after a start like that. 

Of course when I got back the very next thing was the doomed and shaken Daniel Passino singing I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing FOR FUCKS SAKE.  This was the point where I made the following note:

THEME:  THERE ARE MANY THINGS I HATE.

Luckily Shalyah came on next and her mom called her Pookie and though I did not know the song at least it wasn’t friggin’ Aerosmith.  I ended up liking her much better partly because Shalyah represents much of what is good and right in the world but also partly because the weed kicked in thank God.

The reason I never understand Pharrell is that he speaks in Art.

I think Xtina has a small crush on Nick.  “I couldn’t tell if it was Michael really singing or not ha ha!!”.  Yeah sure.  I will give him credit for not exploiting anyone for the first week I can recall, and though he is not my favorite I think he did fine.  However my lovely wife did not and it was delightful if a bit profane:  “AAAUGH.  I just think this is HORRIBLE!!  GOD NOW HE’S GOING TO POLE DANCE GOD NOW HE’S GOT A STRIPPER MOVE GOING ON OH!  OH!!  OH!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT WAS HORRIBLE!!! UUUUUCK!”

Hannah is confident right now and she should be.  I was listening and typing and not watching the screen until Deb said “Man, she is HOT in the bodysuit!” and I hurt my neck a little bit snapping to attention because, wow, she did.  I know things aren’t real so of course she has a persona but she is very skilled in making it look like she doesn’t and it makes her a breath of fresh air this season.

It is great that Laith is getting some success after all these years but at the same time I feel like he is right on the ragged edge of being unknown enough to be on The Voice since he does seem to have some sort of reputation in blues circles.  I PREFER MY UNKNOWNS TO BE UNKNOWN DAMN IT.  I was underwhelmed because of the famous song curse, did that B.B. King song really need reinterpretation?  Why not take a song that ISN’T blues and reinvent it?

Paxton Ingram sang Celine Dion and I hate the entire world at this point.

I can’t imagine a man winning this season and feel that if one did it would be a travesty on the order of Trump becoming President.

Deb loved Mary Sarah’s outfit and I liked the Tammy Wynette cover.

Despite not speaking Spanish I like hearing latino music because even a narcocorrido sounds romantic.  Bryan’s song was not a narcocorrido but I figured that out watching him salsa across the stage.  I think he is my favorite of the men.

Curly Sue Gone Wrong exploits her addiction again but y’know whatever gets you through, she probably deserves to.  I closed my eyes for most of it and then had the following exchange with Deb:

P:  she sounds like Susan Tedechi.

D: Bonnie.

P: Etheridge.

D:  Yeah, all those guys.

Adam gets the prime time spot and sings Ray Charles.  It was fine, little dull for me.

My rankings for the night:

Alisan

Hannah

Shalyah

Mary Sarah

Bryan

Laith

Adam

Getting Hit By A Car

Paxton

Nick

Daniel

Pretty right on!!

As for the standings, Jim still has three alive and is cruising once again with a big 9 point lead over Gina M’s Can’t Truss It!  Spring Breakers and Carson’s Way are duking it out for third while Deb’s Under Pressure joins me with her last two being eliminated in the past two weeks.  I can’t see anyone catching Jim at this point but the battle for second may well come down to Bonus Picks, as might the battle for last place -- though Tim is there right now Curly Sue Gone Wrong will pull him out of it soon.  IT’S A RUNAWAY FOR THE TOP SPOT.

Standings are RIGHT HERE!!

Wearily yours,

Brother Pat

Not Much Happened Or At Least Not Much That I Cared About But Still, Sorry This Is Late

“These are the words we use to say goodbye”

                       --Beck

My top five Prince songs:

Delirious

I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man

Let’s Go Crazy

Raspberry Beret

Little Red Corvette

I suppose if I was cooler I’d have deeper cuts, but these will do me just fine.

Sorry for the delay, it has been a busy week and frankly The Voice didn’t do a whole lot for me this time around.  This is going to be very short.  Here are how I ranked the singers and maybe a quick note or two on the show:

Shalyah Fearing – Deb (excited) “oh Shalyah, what are you gonna sing for us little girl???”  She quoted Kelly Clarkson lyrics.  That’s friggin’ adorable.

Hannah Huston – Man she is weird.  Deb turned me on to Etta James.  I like Etta James.  I don’t like Hannah Huston as much as I do Etta James, but do like her quite a bit.

Bryan Bautista – I have learned that my feeling about a romantic song changes when the singer becomes more known for an acrimonious divorce than his output.

Owen Danoff – I did not know the song that he sung, but it was a crazy cross of In The Year 2525 and Cat’s In The Cradle.  Won the sing-off but sure looks like he isn’t going to make it much longer.

Adam Wakefield – “It’s about setting up the foundation for where my roots lie.” 

Alisan Porter – Deb:  “No.  What is Alisan Porter wearing? No no no oh my so much no in that last 25 seconds.”  She is probably best but I liked others more this week.

Nick Hagelin --  wisely switches up to pimp the wife instead of the kid, well played, young man.

Mary Sarah – I was bored and didn’t pay attention.  Deb:  “she was good but don’t we already have Carrie Underwood?”

Daniel Passino – Debbie hated this so much.  I was mostly all right until the ending where I was “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?”

Laith Al-Saddi – I hadn’t noticed how much Laith resembles Paul Giamatti.  For the record I am ambivalent bordering on not caring for Paul Giamatti. 

Paxton Ingram – I feel nothing when Paxton sings.

Emily Keener – Pharrell!!  Why the hell didn’t you stop her?  That song choice was never going to sell, she was halfway done and I was writing that she was going home this week.  The judges praised her technique and maybe it was fine but that doesn’t matter IF THE SONG ISN’T ANY FUN TO LISTEN TO.  I was already getting annoyed with how logoed up Pharrell is all the time.  This is two strikes, pal.

I actually like that Adam has been dressing up the past couple weeks.  I don’t know what this show is doing to me but I don’t think it is healthy.

STANDINGS!! 

Hopefully I’ll be interesting next week.  Don’t hold your breath.

Resignedly,

Brother Pat

You Never Hear The Bullet With Your Name On It

“I’m a full grown man

But I’m not afraid to cry”

                  --Beck

I didn’t actually realize until this morning that my team was wiped out in one fell swoop.  It was so quick!  There were TSAVFL shakeups ALL OVER THE PLACE.  Spring Breakers had four singers knocked down to one.  Under Pressure and Johnny 5 Is Alive both doubled their rosters at least briefly in the case of the latter.  Carson’s Way got a singer back and then promptly lost three to also get knocked down to one, while Can’t Truss It!  and Hummingbird Lightfoot and the Spiders From Mars are cruising with three singers left to each.  Gina M was the only team to not lose anybody last night.  I’ll tell you one thing though – it’s gonna BE A DONNYBROOK for that last place trophy.  The Big Short racked up enough early points so now that they are knocked out it is going to be a slow sink towards the bottom but will anyone go out early enough to challenge me for the second straight loser’s trophy??? 

As an aside, this is what Deb said when I told her my team was gone:  “Y’know, you won that one year.  That really must have been a fluke, huh?”  Indeed.  Thanks, honey.

TSAVFL analysis from the worst owner in the league seems a ridiculous thing, but that’s what I do and there’s no reason to stop now.  I ranked all the singers immediately after each of them sang so let’s go with the order I put them in:

Shalyah Fearing.  I was trying to think of a better performance I’ve seen on The Voice ever and can’t.  The only thing I can compare it to in the reality show singing contest arena is when Fantasia did Summertime way back when.  Deb had tears in her eyes and said “how did I not have her in my final three?”  I’m asking myself the same thing.  That was just great.  Solid number one pick, Jim.  You bastard.

HEY!!  Did you guys realize that THIS WEEK’S episode of The Blacklist is the one that CAN’T BE MISSED?  I risked it and lost.  I hope you watched it. 

How did Joe Maye go home?  Love the song, thought he knocked it out (really enjoyed how Blake suggested he sing the first chorus straight in order to get the audience familiar and then he was able to both do that and make it his own) and it was easily my favorite performance of that first night.  But then again, remember how many people I still have.

I expected Hannah Huston to get more bonus picks than she did.  She’s really good.  Both Bryan Bautista and Emily Keener needed judges saves to move on but I thought they were both well deserved.  I really like all three of them.  There are a lot of people to root for this time around.

I’ve probably mentioned before that I do not get the Janis Joplin love, it’s always been my feeling that if she hadn’t died she wouldn’t be much remembered.  So Alisan’s song didn’t resonate with me as much as it probably did with others, but she did it well, as did Kata though it wasn’t enough for her.  She should have yodeled it.

I’m most bummed out about Caroline but I was too biased to be able to judge her effectively.  I realized while she was singing that if I ever have granddaughters they will be able to swindle me out of everything I own if they end up mean enough to want to.  I had her right down around the danger area in rankings but really expected her to advance.  Sigh.

Mary Sarah sounded like she was getting drowned out by the band early on but got better as she progressed.  She was also down in this danger zone range but I never felt she would be in danger of going home and don’t think she will be for awhile yet.  Her hair was bugging me because it reminded me of someone but I couldn’t remember who.

Any The Voice drinking game must require a shot whenever Pharrell runs out of things to say and just tells the audience to clap instead.

Of the four comeback artists I thought Daniel Passino was the most deserving and he showed that I think.  My reaction to Justin Whisnant was “that guy???” and while I don’t think it is calculated you just know that Tiny Tim was a big part of why Nick a) came back and b) moved on.  Nate never had a chance trying to follow up the force of nature that was Shalyah with Sara Smile of all things (good song, wrong vibe right after that).

There were things that surprised me all around.  I hadn’t remembered Adam Wakefield all that well so when no fewer than three of y’all picked him as a finalist I was eager to find out what I’d missed.  What I realized:  You should all be ASHAMED at throwing away your judgement/ethics/ears by deciding to just go with “Blake’s Country Guy” in the callous pursuit of five bonus points.  Though I still love each and every one of you I can’t say I haven’t lost a tiny bit of respect.  He is horrible.

Debbie wants to be a stylist on this show.  This happened while watching Katie Basden who I realized looks quite a bit like Kelly Clarkson.  She had two other great things to say during Katie’s segment and they made me so delighted I’m just going to give the quotes with no explanation:  “I like her I mean I think I like her no I like her, y’know?”  And “I hate that dress it’s a dress with a feather vest and a giant belt cinched around her waist and her hair is styled just horribly oh god it’s just all bad ohhh dear.”  Also on Monday during one of the group shots before commercial Deb saw Kata and made a vomit noise to herself.

Speaking of styling what the hell was up with Xtina’s Lily Munster hair and whatever those gloves were?  I didn’t get those AT ALL. 

I don’t know what else to say now and don’t feel like going through the folks I had at the bottom of my rankings, I did have 8 people that went through in my top 12 so that seems decent.  For the record this was the order:

Shalyah

Joe

Hannah

Bryan

Emily

Alisan

Caroline

Kata

Mary Sarah

Daniel

Brian

Nick

Katie

Ryan

Owen

Moushumi

Caity  (Deb during her song:  “man it just seems to never end”)

Tamar

Laith

Adam

Paxton – how Blake saved him and not Joe is a friggin’ mystery and frankly a TRAVESTY.

Nate – but not entirely his fault.

Lacy

Justin

STANDINGS!!!  Barring any surprises it looks like Hummingbird and Can't Truss are gonna be battling it out for awhile.  In the meantime I remain,

Why Can't You Be Nicer To Me?,

Brother Pat

Bonus Picks Are In!

"I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me"
                           --Beck


Here it is, in all it's glory:

Currently as last season's last place team it is MINE ALL MINE.  And Erin, you could not have chosen a better quote -- I've been using it on Debbie since this arrived.

Have not watched last night yet, we'll catch up on that tonight.  But Bonus Picks have been received and here they are:

Hummingbird Lightfoot & the Spiders From Mars:  Shalyah Fearing, Adam Wakefield, Bryan Bautista.

Spring Breakers:  Alisan Porter, Ryan Quinn, Brian Nhira.

The Big Short:  Alisan Porter, Mary Sarah, Owen Danoff.

Can't Truss It!:  Alisan Porter, Moushumi, Bryan Bautista.

Carson's Way:  Alisan Porter, Mary Sarah, Adam Wakefield.

Johnny 5 is Alive:  Alisan Porter, Caroline Burns, Hannah Huston.

Under Pressure:  Bryan Bautista, Caroline Burns, Hannah Huston.

Train a Comin':  Alisan Porter, Adam Wakefield, Bryan Bautista.


Both Adam & Bryan got more action that I thought they might.  I wasn't surprised that most of us had Curly Sue Gone Wrong.  Thought there might have been a little more love for either Ryan or Mary Sarah or Hannah.

I will update the standings with these momentarily.  Good luck to all!

You May Not Be Ready To Go Home But Someone Has To So Quit Saying That People

“I’m tired of fighting

Fighting for a lost cause”

                --Beck

Friends and followers of TSAVFL, we have TWO big battles going on in the standings right now!  Post knockouts the Live Round Bonus kicks in, and it has split TSAVFL just about in half.  There are no less than five teams in a donnybrook at the top – Hummingbird Lightfoot has squeaked to the lead with 26 points but he has two other teams right on his heels at 25 each:  Spring Breakers and The Big Short.  Right behind that Can’t Truss It! (23 points) and Carson’s Way (21) are ready to step up and take advantage of any weakness in the teams above them.

This is where I call out our award coordinator Erin for once again going above and beyond – WE HAVE A LOSER TROPHY AND IT IS MAGNIFICENT!  I meant to put a picture with it but will follow up with that later, suffice to say that as the CURRENT HOLDER of this award I could not be prouder of my humiliating loss and one of these teams:  Johnny 5 is Alive (12 points), Under Pressure (11) and Train a Comin’ (9) are all in the running to inherit it at the end of the season.  Each of these three are down to one singer, so it’s anyone’s game there as they tussle for TSAVFL’s lost cause.  Erin, the trophy is another Thing Of Beauty and we are a better league for it.

BONUS PICKS ARE DUE THIS WEEK!  EMAIL THEM TO ME!  Remember, we’ve bumped up the point total to 5 for each successful guess given just how goddamn hard it has been to pick these correctly so don’t lose out!  I hear that like last year the coaches may bring someone back – same rule applies as last year, no credit for the knockouts but will get a live round bonus and points going forward.

As of now, here are the coaches teams ranked by me (and the singers will be in best to worst order as well):

Team Xtina:  Alisan Parker, Ryan Quinn, Bryan Bautista, Tamar Davis and Kata Hay.  The team to beat, no?

Team Adam (god I hate myself):  Caroline Burns (THEY ARE SAVING HER FOR THE LIVE ROUNDS!!), Owen Danoff, Shalyah Fearing, Brian Nhira and Laith Al-Saddi.  I always expect Laith to lose but then he comes out and is delightful every time so far.  I could see him catching on a bit in live voting.  Shalyah and Brian both have that potential to get better as the season goes along.  Stronger team from Adam than I anticipated but I feel confident he’ll find a way to mess it up, and with my luck it will be Caroline.

Team Pharrell:  Hannah Huston, Emily Keener, Caity Peters, Moushumi and Lacy Mandigo.  Love Hannah as I’ve said, like Emily a lot though not sure she’ll be consistent enough to go all the way.  Caity hasn’t done much for me so far but who knows?

Team Blake:  Mary Sarah, Adam Wakefield, Joe Maye, Katie Basden and Paxton Ingram.  Mary Sarah is definitely a contender, maybe Adam.  Joe Maye was way weaker than I expected in the knockouts and Katie & Paxton are just meh for me so far.

I didn’t take a ton of notes this week because I was either getting tired of battles or was bored.  Was very sad to see Abby Celso go though, I liked her a bunch. 

Line of the week from Debbie talking about Kata Hay:  It’s like her face is a confluence of everything gone wrong.   Deb is not enamored with Kata.

Next week WE GO LIVE!!  Standings as usual can be found HERE.

While dreaming of TSAVFL hardware, I remain, yer pal,

Brother Pat