Battles Week Two -- And Trade Rules!

“The nurse should not be the one who puts salt in your wounds”

--The White Stripes

You are a contestant on The Voice. You have been striving for years for this break, you've played gigs to a handful of people, you've practiced, rehearsed, worked, doubted and believed, if in nothing else, the credo that you are making good choices for your career. You have sacrificed for this. Now, you have made it past the audition rounds, you have picked your coach, your mentor, the person that you best believe understands who you are as an artist and pledges to help you achieve that big break. You give it your all in the battle, you pour out those years of learning and yearning and belief. But after all that, there is one question you didn't think of: what do you do when you win a round and your coach does not want you anyway?

Kimberly Nicole had to think about that. Yes, Lowell Oakley – the 50's style crooner – was somehow able to pull off a really nice rendition of Elvis Presley. I didn't think much of him at his audition but he was much better than that. Still, despite the oohs and aahs from the judges (and one of the most boring 'who do I pick' routines EVER), Hound Dog should not be a huge stretch for the kid. Now, I thought Kimberly Nicole was fine in her audition but just a mid round pick for me. I was wrong. She is dynamite. She killed it. And Pharrell let her go. That's got to hurt, and she did not look happy at all to be moving teams, and I don't blame her one bit.

Gina T, I don't know what to say. It was a WAY better pick than Menlik, but at least Menlik got you a point! I would have picked Jeremy Gaynor in that battle round. The song choice did not help, at least in my eyes because Adam, but still, dude should be on somewhere. I'd have thought so if for no other reason but the West Point back story. If you get first pick next year I will give you the opportunity to have me rerun a draft order. But third time is the charm!

Somewhere in a DVR twilight zone is our recording of Monday's episode, god knows we couldn't find it so had to watch the on-demand that doesn't let you forward through commercials. I thought Undateable looked funny and that fact had me contemplating my life, at least until the commercial break was over. At least I hated what I saw about One Big Happy so that makes me feel a little better.

Gina M and Ed once again are one-two at the end of the battle rounds with 9 points apiece AND haven't gotten home from the Maldives yet so I am doubly envious. Ed, I think it a very good omen for Barry and the Ladies that Barry actually won Adam's Battle Of The Old Guys. I was rooting for him because I just felt that as a lawyer (whether he wants to be one or not) Jack Grigori is likely a little better set financially than Barry working the grill at the local golf club. When I mentioned that Deb said “Don't root against me!” By the way I don't know if Grigori is spelled right, honestly, any spelling mistakes on names in this entire competition is solely due to the fact that you know who I'm talking about anyway and I can't be bothered to look them up. I will strive to get all of our names right though.

Right behind them are Erin & Langdon's Karaoke SongBookWorms and Jim's Hummingbird Lightfoot with 8 each. The Worms had four wins and have what has to be a lock for the live shows in India Carney at the top of what looks to be a strong team. I laughed twice during the rehearsals between Treeva Gibson and Katelyn Read; the first time when after the rehearsal Xtina got a look on her face like someone farted and just said “Hmmmm. Hmm hmm hmm.” and then when they were wrapped so tightly they couldn't scream, though it is fair to note that Treeva may not have much reason to scream all that much living with deaf parents. It must be hard to be a petulant teenager when nobody hears it. Tell you what though, I listened to that song with my eyes closed and Treeva, though a little shaky at the beginning took over that performance about halfway through and was clearly best at the end. For Hummingbird, Jacob Rummell is kind of adorably goofy and I really like him, but I'm not sure where he goes, and I certainly thought there were better steals available. Though I would have picked West Point, Rob Taylor is no slouch and man can that guy hit some high notes. Also interested to see Deanna Johnson and Nathan Hermida next round, I wanted Nathan on my team just before Jim picked him and while you don't love seeing your people be included on the montage I expect them both to be pretty good.

There are two more teams right behind that, Debbie Eaglesong and Champion Bull, both with 7 points. It really was relaxing to not have your people going by the way. Deb was involved in the first three matchups Monday, winning with Caitlin Caporale and then losing Katelyn and Grigori. I was kind of feeling bad for her but then Sawyer Fredericks sang Have You Ever Seen The Rain and then I just got pissed at her for taking him before I did. I love that kid. I didn't mention it during the auditions because I wanted him but Deb knew because he started playing I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow. Some of you know that is a song that holds special meaning for me and as such I hold it to a very high standard. I loved what he did with it. If you asked me right now my top three picks to make the finals I would say Sawyer Fredericks, Cody Wickline and India Carney. Really can't wait to see what he does next, much like that hot streak Taylor John Williams had last year, but I think Fredericks is better.

It was a tough week for our two remaining teams, Walla Walla Whoopemup and Fluffy Koalababy. WWW lost his final pick but I thought Clinton Washington looked like a bargain after that battle with India Carney. He has a horrible nose but man, he was right there with her and that was one of the best battles this year. Actually while I think about that, here are my top three battles this year:

1. Sawyer Fredericks/Noelle Bybee
2. India Carney/Clinton Washington
3. Sarah Potenza/Hannah Kirby

Anyway, between Wickline, Potenza and Washington I think that team is going to be fine.

I've been writing Nick Jonas as Joe Jonas in my notes because I don't know the difference and it probably doesn't matter much but wanted to admit my mistake. Lionel Richie has been great, since I don't think of him being around much anymore I didn't expect much, but he has been involved and interested and it's always fun to think man, he and The Commodores had some great songs. In high school I loved when I could slow dance to Three Times a Lady. If you were able to find a girl to slow dance with to Three Times a Lady, you were going to get to make out later.

After the draft there were questions about trading. I finally came up with a time frame for that – NOW, between the Battle and the Knockout rounds, you may make trades. They do not have to be one for one, they could be two for one or whatever, but all contestants involved in the trade can not have sung yet in the Knockout round, and it will also need Unofficial Standing Keepers approval (USK Motto: I Can't Think Of Much I Would Not Approve). Points earned to date will stay with the original owner.

So, three easy requirements:

1. Has to be submitted to me before any of the singers involved in the trade sing in the Knockouts.
2. Needs approval.
3. Points previously earned stay with the original owner.

Is that fair? It seems fair. Please share ideas/comments/concerns if you have any in the comments and we will hash it out if anything seems off.

Sorry about the delay this week, some of these are harder to come up with than others and I really did watch a ton of basketball the past couple days.

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