Biggest Week Of The Year -- From 20 To 12!

“I had opinions

That didn't matter”

--The White Stripes

The first live round has to be the Week Of The Season for The Voice, doesn't it? Three full days of shows, twenty singers performing live in a pair of two hour shows that, for The Voice, are pretty filler-free. Carson starts looking concerned around the hour mark and the stupid hashtag promo that is early in the broadcast falls by the wayside as the judges give the most useless positive propaganda feedback of the year and the clock tick tick ticks until by the end, of course, it is a rushed blur. It's a great time!

Whoever is doing the social media promotions for NBC needs to rethink their career direction. #Voiceboop. What the hell? Poking noses on video? The people that are going to do this are people that frankly I don't want anything to do with. At least Blake called it out for the nonsense it was. You want a hashtag, NBC? #TSAVFL. You're welcome. Although now that I think about it we need to get The Voice Fantasy League trademarked in order to monetize this sucker once someone happens upon it and tries to capitalize. We'll also need a spokesperson because there is no way in hell that I am going to be seen on camera in the Voice audience. Maybe Langdon? She could convince kids to sign up for exclusive league access for the low price of $20/season. USE YOUR PARENTS CARD, KIDS! We will all share in the TSAVFL bounty. If cash is involved I might even ease up on the recap swearing, though let's not get our hopes too high there.

That tangent reminds me to tell you a couple of things upfront. First, this might be long, befitting the Week Of The Season. Secondly, though you might think that life in the Pierce/Hutchins household is a merry carousel filled with wit and glamour, I am currently washing down the first two hours of a root canal with pain meds and beer, and my lovely wife is occupied at this very second with colonoscopy prep, so yeah, we are certainly living the dream tonight. The point is just to note that there could be a few tangents you'll have to forgive my indulgence of; and serves as a reminder that truly there is little I'm not willing to share with you.

To the shows! Let's take this by coach.

There is a goddamn REASON that Blake wins so many of these things. Cory Kent White. Grampa died. He's getting marriage proposals via twitter (possibly not heartfelt). Singing To Make You Feel My Love. Explaning his complete marketing strategy to Cory first thing in rehearsals. He uses the funny drunk persona to Columbo the fact that he tells you exactly what he is going to do and why it will work while he is doing it. All I could think of was why the hell did I not pick him in the bonus picks because OF COURSE he is going to be in the finals.

I had high hopes for Sarah Potenza though there were three strikes against her: singing first on the first night. I've thought a lot this week about what night and what order is optimum and though I've no conclusion, first on Monday cannot be a good thing. Then, condensing a song of epic scope and one where the slow build makes it so powerful is a challenge – if there is ever a song that needs to take its time and spread its wings it is Freebird. You can't condense it without making it sound odd and rushed and nowhere near as powerful. Finally, she slept in vans after eating tuna fish for dinner. All I could do for the next few minutes was imagine how nasty that van must have been.

Meghan Linsey apparently has internet haters. I admit to wanting to look but lately I'm trying to be better about not swimming in the more toxic pools of our modern lives so am not going to. I don't like her anyway, but that is because the desperation that surrounds her like a halo makes me uncomfortable. Brooke Adee had a date, seems very sweet, sang fine and showed that she needs some more training. And then there's Hannah. Deb still hates her and laughed when Hannah said that she'd never had a boyfriend. I've gotten protective about her (remember, this is what happens with me) and I felt sad for her. Her fragility just beneath the surface is a little heartbreaking, and I felt that in her performance she was a little embarrassed about being Crazy Eyes and was trying to tone it down a bit – which is a mistake. Her ability to be fully uninhibited is what makes her special.

I ranked all the teams before the selections. My rank for Blake's team was (actual in bold):

Cory, Sarah, Hannah, Brooke & Meghan. I was most wrong here. I think that Blake has the shallowest team because I cannot imagine Hannah & Meghan making say the top 8, but he has Cory and Cory has a damn fine shot at winning this thing. He certainly has the best coach.

Pharrell had fantastic shirts both nights. I would love either of those, though prints can be problematic, cliché or both on big men. It is a mistake to read too much into any filmed encounter but Pharrell seems genuinely impressed by Sawyer Fredericks. How could you not? I think the only thing that stops Sawyer in this competition is the fact that he is a sheltered 15 year old boy who is all of a sudden getting LOTS of attention. He reminds me a little bit of Kelly Leek from The Bad News Bears.

Chris Jamison looked good. I laughed when Carson asked “So, what are you doing?”. I don't remember what he replied, but I figured the true answer was, “Crushin' it!” Deb remembered his pants that he wore when he went sexy last season and then I realized that I did too. I suspect Chris is having a great year.

Anyway, boy, does Mia Z. look strong or what? She looks tiny even by the standard of tiny young women on The Voice, and she doesn't look to be relaxed on camera and as such doesn't project a lot of personality to me, but my god, she is sixteen. They are so young. But all that fades away when the music starts because I flat out love listening to her sing. And Ain't No Sunshine is a great song. SHE WENT IN THE LAST ROUND PEOPLE. I think it is a nice sleeper by Ed, who both got that pick and put her in his bonus.

Caitlin Caporale looked more focused. Where she talked in her intro about not chasing the career because she had no funds to move it came off as putting aside, possibly for good, your dream. Getting to the live rounds it was as if she wanted it again and had a sudden confidence. I did not know the Beyonce' song, but thought she sang very well. Koryn Hawthorne was so shaky at first, you could almost feel her trembling through the screen but she killed the last half of How Great Thou Art. Lowell Oakley changed from his awkward improv last week but didn't actually change that much and Pharrell was mostly done with him anyway.

My rank: Sawyer, Mia, Koryn/Caitlin, Lowell. I felt bad for Caitlin but she is fourth in that group which is a stronger one than I thought a couple weeks ago.

I took fewer notes on Tuesday's show, which again made me wonder which night was the better to be on. At first I thought that Sia's hat was odd and strange, but then I remembered that Daft Punk wears helmets and what is the difference? It felt like a small evolution.

Xtina looked like Good Elvira on Monday and had a much better look on Tuesday in that dress. I like that she has seemed more competitive this year, and in the vein seemed to already have in mind the singers she thought would go through. Clearly she likes India Carney by giving her one of her songs, and she should because India Carney is awesome and got the most bonus picks, six teams have her.

Have to confess that when NBC promoed “A Song That Has Never Been Licensed For The Voice Before!” I was expecting just a little bit more than 4 Non Blondes. But once again Kimberly Nichole just killed it and made a song I haven't even heard in twenty years sound vital. I don't know that she can win but I know that whenever she goes out it will seem a little bit unfair. Rob Taylor sang The Weeknd. Rob, don't read blogs!! We are full of bad things for you to get in your head right now.

You may remember that I was rethinking my stance on Sonic, but luckily she has a Twitter handle of @SonicArtOfBeing and once again reminded me that she was deaf and so I was super happy to be able to reclaim my dislike and jeer – but then Sonic got confused with the tempo (I'm assuming because of the hearing problem) and I felt like such an asshole. Not disappointed that she is gone though. Lexi Davila learned how unfortunate it is when the big note on your song doesn't work. Twice.

My rank: Kimberly, India, Rob, Lexi, Sonic. Nailed it! This team could win or be down to one quickly.

And then, as always, there is Adam. You can imagine my dismay as I found myself either agreeing with or approving decisions made by him, but I could balance that out by how much I hated that song they played first thing on Monday, Sugar. Deb pointed out that we have that Maroon 5 song. My wife finds a large amount of music and has an impressive track record, but it is my considered opinion that Sugar is a horrible thing. There were other things that didn't do much for me on Adam's team. Nathan Hermida for example. It's not his fault, he's just hit his limit in this lineup. Well, it's kind of his fault because he wasn't good, though I liked the little rap he did in the middle. But it was clear he overachieved to reach the live rounds.

I enjoy Tonya Boyd-Cannon and thought she deserved the top three. It was an interesting point that Adam brought up in rehearsal for Take Me to the Pilot, that it could be as close to gospel music that he (and I) got as a kid growing up in a white suburb. She was first up as well. Brian Johnson is also on my team so you'd think I'd pay attention but instead Deb and I spoke of macarons as he sang. I also figured out that he looks like a heavy Mr. Bean.

Who got my attention was Deanna Johnson singing Down to the River to Pray, a song I know well. When I first saw her my thought was nice, NBC. Put the nervous girl last. She was stunning. There isn't anything else to even say except nice bonus pick GAT and Deb's quote: “that dress is blowing my fucking mind.” But I liked Joshua Davis even more (barely but still and totally get if you have it the other way)! Deb's quote at the beginning of his segment: “did you see that baby? That got him 10,000 votes right there.” I didn't know the song Budapest but I liked it a ton and he was so good that when Deb asked me if we should go listen to the original I said “Why? I like this version.” (the original is good too but I'm not sure I like it better than Joshua's version). Christina had that sweet comment about him singing lullabys to his kids and it was one of the most genuine sounding things I've heard from her.

My rank: Joshua, Deanna, Tonya, Brian, Nathan. Another strong top two.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE TSAVFL???

The TSAVFL, my friends, is fascinating. We will start with a brief moment of silence for our first casualty. The end of Sarah Potenza spelled the end of Walla Walla Whoopemup. In an appreciated bid Tim asked me if there were any points for going out first. Alas, there are not. I am pouring out a 40 for him though I am pouring it into a glass because after all this is The Voice and I'm not wasting good beer. I thought with Cody and Sarah you would have gone further, but y'know, many of my opinions are wrong.

The one to beat currently is Hummingbird Lightfoot. Jim still has three singers left though I think Deanna and Rob are his main threats. I don't know what to think of Rob's chances. Barry and the Ladies are close behind in the standings with two solid singers, Kimberly and Mia. I love both of them so think they could both be finalists but I didn't pick either of them as a bonus and could be isn't will be. Debbie Eaglesong has what may be the strongest duo in Sawyer and Cory. I will tell you right now that if she picks the actual winner for the third straight year you will all hear about it. And Fluffy Koalababy just might be making a comeback for the ages if Koryn and Hannah can stay strong!

Karaoke SongBookWorms are down to one, but when that one is India Carney there are still plenty of points to be had, especially if bonus picks come through. Tied with Deb, Sizzle and Fizzle's hopes now ride on one Joshua Davis who could easily be Josh Kaufman. He could also be that singer/songwriter-y guy that flamed out last year and whose name I can't remember. Champion Bull is no such thing unless we are talking a different sort of bull because I am down to Mr. Bean.

I've said plenty but have one strategic maneuver to relate. Jim sent Deb an email suggesting that she pick all her own team for her bonus picks. At first Deb laughed it off but she kept coming back to it occasionally and finally decided why not! Always eager to instigate, I sent an email to Jim:

By the way, you successfully goaded Deb into picking her team for her bonus picks, you magnificent bastard. 

Jim replied:

Wow. Her arrogance is admirable.

Indeed it is. And people, Jim is clearly a master manipulator. Beware.

HEY!! STANDINGS ARE HERE!!